the metoo debate

i saw time lit fest 2018 debate of tavleen, faye and barkha on metoo movement. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nblNjiEbm8Q&t=2954s)
and i like the rational view points presented by all three of them.
the first symptom of finding an irrational point/blind spot is when the voice starts to raise.

till last night i was familiar with barkha and tavleen
when i was 10 i started watching barkha in jai jawan on ndtv she was fabulous and i liked her a lot, made me cry several times with her stories.
when i was 24 i started reading tavleen singh, in indian express, because she made a joke about communists in JNU beheading her
and i found that funny (and i didn’t find communism problematic at all that time, i have huge range of humor),
while next day a few students in indian express raised the topic of her insensitivity.
then i started reading more of her, it was disappointing to see her support for modi, i thought of her as just another modi bhakt
but she isn’t and she wasn’t , she was talking reasonably while witnessing the abuse of power by INC , and having modi proved innocent by SIT
about gujarat case (because you have to start believing some institution of justice, she did believe SIT) and she also witnessed the SIT
who probed rajiv gandhi for bofors and she also witnessed the brutal killings of sikhs by INC in delhi in 1984 , of which the congress has still
not apologized and not take action against, overall she has made me a saner, more rational person , introduced me to the merits of capitalism
i disagree with her on many things, but i see the logic and reasoning behind that, which is solid , fact based.
faye i found last night when she logically roasted members of bajrang dal and i found her cold tone of roasting very pleasing , after several months i’ve found someone new, she appears to be rational so far. (tavleen has a blindspot too, like she despises nepotism and socialism so much – i understand the socialism thing now, i hate it too , it just pleases the ears, feels good , doesn’t work at all- she saw through the fake secularism of congress which is also true, but she was unable to percieve the hate that the right wing will bring with it, i saw it miles away the religious bullying supremacy of right versus the appeasement secularism of commies and left and congis and sociaists) she couldn’t see that the hatred against sikhs in congress was not religious one, the pogrom ended and hate for sikhs is not abundant in congress, the same cannot be said about the bjp, the hatred for muslimsruns down from parents organization rss to all its subsidiaries of hate mongering and religious discrimination and tavleen failed to see 1984 was immediate responsive revenge pogromas opposed to 2002 hindu-muslims slow cold planned riots for political gains, which built from hatred of gandhi-his love for islamic theology and his and the liberal’s complete ignorance of  violence and massacres of hindus by hands of muslims. this is plain cold hatred , tavleen turned a blind eye to that in 2014, just citing 1984 isn’t enough , you have to dig deeper)

now i’ve seen view of tavleen, watched faye, but i also watched the debate between barkha and ayaan hirsi ali, ayaan i love and respect a lot,
is very graceful lady and perhaps one of the bravest lady in this world. to be honest barkha was super annoying in the debate
i know she fights passionately, but her passion blinds her to obvious facts and reasoning on the other side.
i even saw her debate with tavleen on ndtv, tavleen was graceful (not lady like but gentle , speaking on their turn – the civil discussion type)
barkha on the other hand took everything personally and was super annoying, that day i decided never to watch barkha, having insulted two ladies
whom i respect a lot, because of their logic and reasoning.

that was for intro coming to debate, i agree with all 3 ladies on metoo debate, i agree we have to ensure work place safety of women, we have to teach
men and boys about consent and i also agree tavleen’s statement of the whiny women who used their sexuality to advance in their career, and i also
agree with barkha and faye’s view that 23 year old women have no clue whom to complain what to complain, they are being harassed by bosses,
punished for speaking up and if they go to police, they will be harassed by police. i also agree with tavleen’s point of these whiny women
taking up spaces that belong to more important topic of rape and child abuse, this is true, the movement is in a way elitist
because it deals with only the harassment part that educated women experience, education is not available to girls in village
however it doesn’t give license to men to grope women. barkha was right in one more point that if you do not stop them here
you are letting patriarchy rule, the men will be fearless next time and will attempt more, if left unpunished. so there needs to be stopping of that
else its’s a slippery slope to rape. tavleen was also correct when she said women were offered celebrity covering jobs
because they refused to go to field and cover up riots and political rallies, but she was completely oblivious to the fact that reporting these things
a woman journalist has to struggle more than a man, man can go easily, but a woman will face grouping in a political rally
and that is why they refuse to cover these sort of things. people are and will be equating rapes of little girls with grouping
if grouped women, economically capable, get more screen time than girls who got raped, barkha and faye missed this tinsy little logical point.
the reason i decided to write this whole mess of ideas and reaction is when tavleen made a joke about faye being dressed as a man, now i understood the intent
of the joke, and the joke was unfunny but faye and barkha took offense, as if she had said something incredibly stupid, which she obviously didn’t.
the perpetrators of metoo have to acknowledge some flaws in the movement itself , it is restricted to the educated class, of women who know their rights and can
potentially misuse it, although the number is low, but it exist. second thing is stop mob lynchings of accused, the media trials must stop, we cannot listen to
just one side of story and punish someone. i mean you can never ever prove a 20 year old rape case, ever. and it will never happen that the rapist acknowledge
that he did it and by court of law he (and minimally a she) would be free to go. metoo if it wants to bring any change in the structure of society has to think
of a solution to this problem, how can you prove charges of grouping? marital rape? verbal abuse? and 20 year old rape cases cctvs are not present everywhere ,
because a due process is required to distinguish fact from fiction. the only positive thing i see from metoo,so far in india
is that educated women now know that they can speak up, it has given a platform to them, while it has also made some unreasonable things , shouting/scolding is not
same as verbal abuse, its a battle of equality which will never be equal, purely because of some physical limitations nature put on us. if only men were able to
bear child or were more emotionally developed or had periods and were generally physically weaker, then we could have talked about absolute equality.
i am aware the physically weaker thing will hurt you ladies, because we are talking IN GENERAL doesn’t matter if you put me in front of a 100 pound female wrestler
she will beat me up obviously, but that won’t and can’t discard the fact that on average one is weaker and one is not. and that will lead to some works that men will
be bound to do more than women, drilling up coal mine or taking up gas cylinder or a heavy box 20 floors up. there are women who do that, but fewer.. for a reason.

the metoo movement hangs in middle of what is and what not is to be taken as offensive ?
you dare criticize the movement in front of a feminist ? i as a boy (shit i am a man now 25 years old) cannot do that, i will be mansplaining stuff to them,
whenever someone says this word in front of me, i always say this in my mind : “fuck off you retarded bitch!”.
you can be tolerate pinches on bottom, attempt to kiss etc (which by the way is what bollywood heroes taught men)
or you can be completely intolerant of even the jokes , one reason i am disgusted by american left-democrats is their utter complete inability to take jokes
and this same ghost followed the metoo movement here, everything is labelled as a sexist racist thing. they are over sensitive and over passionate about this
your battle is to break the mental barriers of patriarchy , it is not to penalize people for telling jokes, while i acknowledge there are stupid men
making joke of feminism and metoo and making sexist remark all the time, i think it is upto understanding of women to not take everything on offense
we need to change the nature of our abuses, its mostly directed towards females, but that does not mean we shut down people completely,
breaking mental barriers and making room for comedy requires acceptance of comedy, be it religion or be it patriarchy or be it wait for it…. feminism.
by feminism i mean the 3rd wave in western world.
If you cannot take joke about something (not necessarily feminism, but everything) you are being unreasonable at best and an oversensitive bitch at worst.
and the joke has not to be at an expense of someone’s individual suffering and trauma. can’t make a joke on rape victims. dark humor is different category
it is called dark for a reason, for the same reason black people were enslaved. dark humor has to, must have one thing
its a must… that both concerning parties, the one making the joke and the one listening the joke mutually agree that either of them are not in anyway mocking
the actual suffering. this mutual agreement is what makes dark humor fascinating to those who love it and offensive to people like barkha and thatwokegirl and several other 3rd wave feminists who are annoyed
at even a glimpse of their self assumed patriarchy when a man talks about being reasonable . and before you accuse me of being a chauvinistic pig, i blame men more than women, i am of thought that women are not better than men but men are worse than women these two statement are different and you’re an idiot if you think they both mean same, also  the world would have been in much better place and shape if it were ruled by women.